Growing concerns

I have a Ph.D. in developmental psychology. I teach about developmental milestones, talk to dozens of parents of young children each year, and occasionally even serve as a "developmental specialist" for local families. Ironic, then, that my two children have been so far from typical in their developmental trajectories! I know as well as the next person that "normal" is based on averaging across the population, and actual, individual children are always going to be somewhat ahead of or behind the curve. But my kids? Not even close.

For instance, Josiah's vision problems (among other things) put his motor skills way behind during infancy and toddlerhood. At 14 months, he tested at 3 standard deviations below the mean for motor abilities (which is to say, in the bottom third of one percent, or put another way, the least proficient kid of 300 of his age). Conversely, his language by age 2 was in the top one percent, and I'd guess he remains somewhere up there. Extremes. Of course what counts is that overall he's just totally happy, healthy, and normal – a great little boy! (I should note that his motor skills are well within "normal" today; he's caught up just fine. I should also note that his eye specialist mentioned bifocals as a possibility for him just this past week. No, we're not going that route!)

Now William. I've been writing off niggling worries over him for over half a year. He officially reached 18 months a week ago, and I think hitting this deadline has really nailed me. For one thing, he still isn't walking, although that's a bit lower on my worry scale. Of much greater concern to us: He doesn't speak at all either. Not at all, as in, not even the most rudimentary "Ma" or "uh-oh." He very rarely babbles linguistic syllables – he just grunts, whines, etc. – and he chooses not to (or can't?) imitate any sounds we make. In the last few weeks he's *finally* begun doing some occasional pointing (he should have started this a full half his life ago, by 9-10 months), so that's good at least. But on the other hand again, he has grown lately to have the most unbelievable meltdowns many times each day. They're awful. I'm sure they're due in part to frustration over his inability to communicate adequately, although most of the time they come simply when we need to transition to a new activity.

Although I have a robust catalog, I won't bore you with a litany of further details! Some go in a "he's fine" category, others are warning signs that trouble us more all the time. Bottom line, I'm worried about William right now.  I really wish for a crystal ball to see out another 6-12 months. Is he just taking his sweet time to get out the gate? That could definitely be the case; in some ways he seems just fine. Or...on the other hand...? I pray for him earnestly many times each day. After shrugging his delays and habits off for many months, at this point I struggle to stop myself from running his every move through a "is this a good sign or a bad sign?" filter. He's on my mind constantly.

By the way, we have an early intervention specialist scheduled to come and do a proper eval with him at the end of April. (It's been on the calendar since mid-March; they're booked out 6 weeks.) And second, here are some pics of him from this morning. He and I are fighting colds, plus William seems to have picked up pink eye from somewhere, so we stayed home from church while Jesse and Josiah went in today. I love this boy so much!